Always me giving in, he says I'm his love?

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Question

We’ve been married 6 years now, and every time there’s a fight or even just a small decision – like where to eat or whose family to visit on holidays – I end up bending. Always me. He says sweet things, like 'you’re the love of my life' and 'I can’t live without you'… yes po, he says it with tears sometimes. But then nothing changes. Last month, my mom was sick and I wanted to go home for a few days. He got so quiet, said he’d be lonely, so I stayed. His mom asked him to move in with them, and I agreed kasi I don’t mind, but he won’t stand up to her. So I end up cooking, cleaning, saying yes to everything just to keep peace. I’m tired. I love him talaga, but why does it feel like only my compromises matter? When I tried talking, he said I’m overthinking. I don’t want to be the only one trying. Is this normal? Feels one-sided naman eh. 🤦‍♀️

Mio Kobayashi · Answer

I get it... when the words are soft but the weight still falls on you. I'm sorry to say this, but I stayed quiet for years too, thinking love meant holding everything in. My husband used to say similar things, with that same look, and I’d end up folding like laundry — neat, quiet, out of the way. But my mom got sick last winter, really sick, and I couldn’t move. Not because of distance, but because I’d already given so much of myself away, I didn’t know how to say *me too* matters.

It might be that he doesn’t see it. Or maybe he does, just not clearly. Either way, I think maybe try writing down the last five times you gave in — just for you, not to show him. See the pattern. Then pick one small thing, really small — where to eat, a weekend plan — and say what *you* want, not what you’ll accept. Say it gently but don’t fold. See what happens.

Love shouldn’t leave you hollow. Even if he’s hurting, you’re still here, still giving. I had to learn that. ❤️

Always me giving in, he says I'm his love?

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