Are we compatible or just too busy to see we're not?

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Question

We've been together 5 years, married 2. Met through friends, he's not Teochew but family said okay after some convincing. Ma said his zodiac and mine — Tiger and Dog — not ideal, but we trying so supposed to make it work. 🤷

But now I wonder if we even trying or just… busy? Work full-time, he's in shipping, always back late. Weekends he says tired, I say tired too but someone must cook, clean. We talk, but very the surface — bills, auntie’s wedding, who forgot to pay the phone bill.

Sex? Maybe once a month if we both not too drained. Not bad, not good. Just… there. Like brushing teeth.

I asked him once if he feels something missing. He said, 'What to do, this is married life one.' Confirm that’s how it supposed to be?

Sometimes I miss feeling excited to see him. Now it’s like, ‘ah, you home already?’

My friend says if no fights and no dreams, also a problem. But maybe I’m asking too much. Just feel… lonely even when he’s in the room.

Anonymous · Answer

My wife and I, we went through something similar itself. We were so busy with work and family, we barely had time for each other. I was working late nights, she was taking care of our kid... we were just existing together, not really living together. One thing that helped us was scheduling date nights, just the two of us. Sounds silly, but it worked. We'd cook dinner together, watch a movie... just talk about something other than bills and work. You guys need to make time for each other, na? Try it, see what happens.

Are we compatible or just too busy to see we're not?

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