Is it possible to be friends with an ex? Or is that just denial?

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Question

My ex and I broke up mutually 4 months ago. We still care about each other, have the same friend group, and genuinely enjoy each other company. We have been trying to be friends. But sometimes it feels like we are just dating without the label. Others say it will never work and someone always gets hurt. Can exes actually be friends?

Bob Williams · Accepted Answer

It IS possible, but not right away. You need a clean break first — no contact for at least a few months so both of you can process the loss and rebuild your individual lives. Then you can attempt friendship from a place of genuine emotional independence. The red flags that it is NOT working: jealousy when either dates someone new, physical intimacy "for old times," or one person secretly hoping for reconciliation.

Henry Brooks · Answer

I am friends with an ex — we dated for 3 years, broke up 5 years ago. It works because we had a year of no contact, then slowly rebuilt the friendship. But it only works because neither of us wants the other back. The moment one person is not truly over it, the friendship becomes a trap.

Is it possible to be friends with an ex? Or is that just denial?

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