How do I leave after hiding us for years?

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Question

We met at university—same engineering batch. Dated two years, never official but everyone knew. My family found out last month. Mummy cried, said what will people think? I’m already married, you see, with a baby. Ali’s family expects me to stop work after second child, like a good daughter-in-law. But he’s not even my husband’s name, it’s my ex. I keep thinking about Ali. We never broke up, just faded when I got engaged. Now he texted after 3 years. Said he never stopped. Part of me wants to run. Other part knows it’s haram, what I’m feeling. But why does it hurt so much when I know better? I pray and try to focus on my son, alhamdulillah he’s sweet, but some days I feel like I’m buried alive. How do I even begin to leave a life I didn’t choose without destroying everyone? Feels like I’m betraying myself by staying, and betraying my family by wanting out.

Tariq Khalil · Answer

so i've been in a similar situation, kinda messy lol. i was in a relationship that was never official and my family didnt approve, we drifted apart when i got engaged to someone else. but the thing is, you cant just turn off your feelings. what helped me was taking some time to think about what i really want, like whats my priority - my family, my current life or this guy. honestly, it was hard to choose but i had to be real with myself. you should try talking to ali, see where his head is at, and then think about what you're willing to risk. family expectations can be tough, but youre a mom now, you gotta think about your own happiness too

How do I leave after hiding us for years?

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