How do I tell my girlfriend I feel ignored?

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Question

So we’ve been together about 5 months and it’s my first real relationship with a girl. Honestly it’s been amazing, like I never knew I could feel this close to someone but lately she’s been super distant. She’s always on her phone when we’re hanging out and when I try to talk she just says “mmhmm” without even looking up. Like last night I told her about this dumb fight I had with my mom and she didn’t even pause her show just kept watching and said “that sucks” like she wasn’t really hearing me at all. I don’t even know if I’m overreacting but it hurts you know. I keep thinking maybe she’s losing interest or I’m doing something wrong. We used to text all day and now sometimes she doesn’t reply for hours and when I ask if everything’s ok she says yeah just busy. I don’t wanna be that clingy partner but I also feel like I’m talking to myself half the time. I told a friend and she said maybe it’s a red flag especially since she used to be so into me. I don’t want this to turn into one of those toxic situations where I’m always chasing but I also don’t want to mess up something good. How do I bring this up without sounding whiny or starting a fight

Sophia Martinez · Answer

I went through something similar last year and it sucked honestly. My girlfriend was always glued to her phone and I started feeling like background noise. What finally worked was me saying something when we weren’t in the middle of it… like I waited for a quiet moment, said “Hey, I love hanging with you but I’ve been feeling kinda ignored lately. Like when I’m talking and you’re on your phone, I feel like I’m interrupting.” I kept it about how I felt, not accusing. She had no idea it was affecting me that much.

Like, try texting her first—something simple like “Can we chat later? There’s something I wanna say when we’re not distracted.” Gives her a heads-up so she doesn’t feel ambushed. Then when you talk, just be real. Say what you wrote here—how you told her about your mom and it felt like she wasn’t listening. Keep it honest but soft.

And give her space to respond. She might not know she’s doing it… or maybe something’s up on her end. Either way, speaking up changes things. Mine apologized, we set little rules—no phones during dinner, put it face down when talking—and it made a huge difference

How do I tell my girlfriend I feel ignored?

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