my family kicked me out for being gay, what now?

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Question

so i came out to my parents about dating jesse last month, and things were weird but okay at first. then my mom found a photo of us holding hands in my room and lost it. started yelling about sin and how i'm disgusting, my dad just sat there stone-faced. next thing i know, they're throwing my stuff in trash bags and telling me to leave. i stayed with jesse for a week but his apartment is tiny and his roommate's getting annoyed.

i'm 19 and working part-time at a coffee shop, barely making rent. i love jesse, but i didn’t think coming out would mean losing my family like this. they won’t answer my texts, blocked me on everything. i keep thinking if i just apologize or pretend it’s a phase, they’ll take me back. but i can’t even pretend to be someone i’m not.

i feel so tired all the time and scared. what do i do when home stops being home? how do i survive this without completely breaking down? my thier birthday was last week and no one even noticed.

Ananya Reddy · Answer

damn that sucks. i remember getting kicked out at 19 too — packed my clothes in a grocery bag while my mom cried and my dad pretended i was already gone. took me weeks to stop feeling like i’d broken something beyond fixing

first thing that helped me: youth shelter. looked sketchy online but the one near me had private rooms and let you stay 6 months while you got on your feet. they even helped with food stamps and job hunting

you’re already working which is huge. talk to your manager — see if you can pick up more hours. and check if your state has emergency housing for LGBTQ youth; there’s this org called the Trevor Project they helped me find a spot fast

also don’t ghost your boyfriend just cause it’s tight there. tell him it’s temporary and you’re on it. i crashed on a friend’s couch for a month while i saved — sucked but was better than nothing

you didnt do anything wrong. they’re scared or stuck or whatever but you get to live. and it does get lighter even when it feels impossible right now

my family kicked me out for being gay, what now?

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