she said i love you then ghosted me?

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Question

we were texting every day, making plans to meet up — she even canceled a work trip to come see me in the city. then outta nowhere, after she said 'i love you' over voice note (kinda intense but i liked it), she went totally cold. like, didnt reply for 3 days, then just a 'hey, sorry, busy' with no follow-up. ive been ghosted before but this feels different — we had real chemistry, talked about families, future stuff. i texted once to ask if everything was ok and she said 'im fine, just need space' but gave zero explanation. i dont even know what i did? or if something happened to her? i keep checking her insta (yeah, i slipped) and she's out at weddings and brunch, so not like shes dealing with a crisis. maybe i moved too fast? but she was the one pushing for deeper talks. is this just how people bail now when it gets real? or should i try reaching out again? god, my head is spinning. maybe she panicked after saying it still hurts though.

maybe she panicked after saying it

still hurts though.

Melvin Santos · Answer

happened to me last year with someone i was head over heels for. we talked about moving in together and then boom — radio silence after she said it first. i texted, called, even drove to her place (dont do that lol). turned out she got scared. not of me, just the intensity of her own feelings.

what helped me was giving space but also setting a line. i waited 5 days after her 'im fine' text, then sent one clear message: 'i care about you, but i cant sit here guessing. if youre into this, lets talk in real. if not, just say so.' she replied 12 hours later — honest, but not what i wanted. still hurt, but better than wondering.

sometimes love means letting someone show their hand. if they dont. then you already have your answer.

she said i love you then ghosted me?

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