She wants flat first, but what if I'm gone by then?

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Question

We been dating 2 years, things good, but she keep saying we can't get serious until we got flat. Like, engagement, future plans — all wait. Her parents very strict, want everything settled first. Last time my ah ma check our bazi — not great match, she never know, but I keep thinking about it. Got feel already, but everytime I bring up future, she say 'wait for flat'. Problem is, I might get posted overseas for work next year. Not confirmed, but possible. If I stay, it's for her. If I go, feels like all this time was for nothing. But how can I ask her to choose if she tied to family expectations? Sometimes think she using flat as excuse, but also… maybe I'm just scared she don't really want me. What do I do? Hold on or let go before I really heartbroken?

Senthil Kumar · Answer

My cousin went through somethin’ similar — her boyfriend waited 3 years for a flat and then got transferred to Germany. He stayed and honestly, they broke up a year later cause the pressure got too much. Look, I get the bazi thing messes with your head but that’s just one part of it — she’s tied to her parents’ rules and that’s her deal not yours. If you’re even thinkin’ about leaving, talk to her now. Not ‘what ifs’ but ‘this might happen and I need to know where we stand’. Make it real. Say you like her a lot but you can’t freeze your life. I did that once and ended up stayin’ in a job I hated just for a girl and when she still wasn’t ready after a year? Felt dumb. You gotta protect your peace. Flat or no flat if she can’t move faster than bureaucracy then maybe she’s not it. And hey — bazi said mine and my ex were perfect match lol we lasted 8 months so idk how much stock to put in that

She wants flat first, but what if I'm gone by then?

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