What do I do if my parents won’t accept my partner?

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Question

So I’ve been seeing this guy for about 8 months now, met him on a dating app (long story, but it actually worked lol). He’s Indian, super kind, loves my dog, cooks way better than me, and we just… fit. But my parents found out and lost it. They said if I don’t cut things off, they’re cutting me off — like full on disowning, no inheritance, pretending I don’t exist. They’re saying I have to marry someone Chinese, it’s “what family means.”

I tried talking to them, but it’s like screaming into a void. My mom cried, my dad hasn’t spoken to me in weeks. They keep bringing up how my aunt’s daughter married outside and “the family never recovered.” Bro, it’s 2024.

But here’s the thing — I really think he could be the one. We’ve even talked about moving in together. But now I’m stuck choosing: lose my family or lose the person I love. And yeah, I know I’m an adult, but it still *hurts*, you know?

How do you even come back from that kind of threat?

Honestly terrified of being alone

Leila Benali · Answer

My parents said the same thing when I brought home my husband — Filipino, not Korean, total 'disaster' in their eyes. Cut me off for eight months. No calls, no holidays, nothing. I stayed with him anyway. Here’s what got me through: I started setting small boundaries. Stopped asking for their approval. Showed up with him to family events anyway — just for 20 minutes, no drama, no begging. Took photos, posted them with love in the caption. Watched their reactions. After a year, my mom called me crying — not about him, just missed my voice. They came around… slowly. Not because I gave in, but because I didn’t vanish. You don’t have to choose — not today. But you do have to decide who you’re going to be in this. Keep loving your guy. Keep respecting yourself. And give them time to catch up — or don’t. Either way, you’ll be okay.

My dog still pees on their welcome mat tho.

What do I do if my parents won’t accept my partner?

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