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How do I tell my family my career matters too?

im 28 and just got promoted to project lead at a tech startup which is huge for me. i’ve been working my ass off for years trying to prove i can make it on my own. but every time i visit home its the same thing — mom crying saying i’m wasting my youth, that no man wants a bossy woman, that my purpose is to marry and have babies. my cousin married at 21 and now has two kids and apparently im the family disappointment because im not even dating. i tried talking to my dad about it last week and he just said “a woman cant build a life on spreadsheets.” like what the hell is that. i love my family but i feel like they see me as some kind of backup plan if marriage doesnt work out... not a person with goals. my boyfriend (we met at work, hes 34) actually supports me 100% and we talk about waiting a few years before even thinking about kids. but every time i mention him they act like hes just a placeholder until the “right” traditional guy comes along. i dont want to cut them off but i cant keep pretending their words dont cut deep. how do i stand my ground without losing them...

age-gap

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Anonymous

15 days ago

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my aunt used to say the same crap to me when i was climbing the ladder at my old job.

1 Answer

S
Sophia Martinez
80 rep
14 days ago
my aunt used to say the same crap to me when i was climbing the ladder at my old job. like, i get it — they love you and they’re stuck in this old-school mindset where a woman’s value is tied to marriage and babies. but your value? it’s in your work, your drive, the fact you’re building something real. i started setting boundaries. next time your mom says that stuff, look her in the eye and say, "i love you, but i’m not choosing between a career and a life. i get to have both." calm, firm, no apology. i also found it helped to bring up my wins in a way they couldn’t ignore — like inviting them to a company event or casually mentioning a bonus. slowly they start seeing your success as normal, not threatening. and save deep talks for your dad when it’s just you two. mine came around once he realized i wasn’t rejecting family — i was building my own version of it. you’re not late. you’re on your path.

How do I tell my family my career matters too?

age-gap

Asked by

Anonymous

15 days ago

12 views

1 answer

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Your email is only used for this notification. We won't spam you.

Key Takeaways

my aunt used to say the same crap to me when i was climbing the ladder at my old job.

1 Answer

S
Sophia Martinez
80 rep
14 days ago
my aunt used to say the same crap to me when i was climbing the ladder at my old job. like, i get it — they love you and they’re stuck in this old-school mindset where a woman’s value is tied to marriage and babies. but your value? it’s in your work, your drive, the fact you’re building something real. i started setting boundaries. next time your mom says that stuff, look her in the eye and say, "i love you, but i’m not choosing between a career and a life. i get to have both." calm, firm, no apology. i also found it helped to bring up my wins in a way they couldn’t ignore — like inviting them to a company event or casually mentioning a bonus. slowly they start seeing your success as normal, not threatening. and save deep talks for your dad when it’s just you two. mine came around once he realized i wasn’t rejecting family — i was building my own version of it. you’re not late. you’re on your path.

How do I tell my family my career matters too?

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How do I tell my family my career matters too?

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