How long should I wait for a proposal?

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Question

So we’ve been together 8 years, been talking marriage since year two. Every time I bring it up, he says “not the right moment” — first it was his da’s illness, then work was mental, then we got a dog and that was the new drama. I get it, life’s messy. But I’m 31 now and starting to feel like I’m just… stuck. My ma nags me about grandkids and I end up snapping at her, which isn’t fair. He says he loves me, and I believe him, but love isn’t the issue. It’s like he’s waiting for some perfect stars-to-align moment that might never come. Last week I said “are we actually doing this or not?” and he just went quiet. Then said “don’t be pressure-ing me.” ngl, that stung. I don’t want to ultimatum him, but I can’t keep freeze-framing my life either. A friend said maybe he’s just not sure about me, which I don’t wanna believe. But maybe she’s right? Idk, part of me feels daft even asking — like, am I being too much? But another part’s proper lonely. lol, I’ve even picked out a venue. That’s bad, right?

Zhao Qian · Answer

So I was in a similar situation and let me tell you, it's frustrating when you feel like you're waiting for someone else to make a move. I was with my ex for like 6 years and we kept talking about moving in together, but he always had an excuse. Anyway, what worked for me was having a super honest conversation with him - I told him how I felt, that I was starting to feel stuck and like I was just waiting around for him to be ready. I think you should do the same, have a real talk with your boyfriend and see what's going on. Ask him what's holding him back, and what you can do to support him. And idk, maybe set a kinda deadline for yourself, like if nothing changes in the next year, you'll have to reevaluate the relationship. That's what I did, and it gave me clarity

How long should I wait for a proposal?

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