why do i feel empty even though she's perfect on paper?

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Question

we’ve been together 3 years. met through mutual friends, she’s from same province as me, speaks same dialect, her family’s stable, parents love her immediately. everything lined up like it was supposed to. my mom keeps saying 'this one, you keep'.

but… i don’t feel anything. not in bad way — she’s kind, responsible, never fights, cooks well. but when she talks about future, marriage, kids, i just go quiet. my chest tightens. she notices, but i say nothing’s wrong.

My parents, they keep pushing for engagement. they see house, career, background — all match. but i don’t want any of it. not with her. not like this. i keep thinking maybe i’ll grow into it? but every month feels heavier.

i tried talking once. said i need 'time'. she said okay, but looked hurt. didn’t bring it up again. now i feel like i’m lying by staying. like i’m letting everyone down, especially her, but leaving feels worse somehow? idk. maybe i’m broken.

how do you tell someone they’re everything you’re supposed to want… and you still don’t want them?

Patrick Collins · Answer

so my cousin went through something similar, he was with this girl and she was perfect, just like you said, but he just didnt feel it, and my mom was on his case all the time, saying he's gonna lose her if he doesnt propose soon, but he took a step back and had a real talk with himself, figured out what he really wanted, and it ended up being a tough conversation to have with his girlfriend, but it was necessary, i think you need to do the same, just be honest with yourself, whats really holding you back from feeling something, is it the pressure from your parents or is it something more, you gotta dig deep and find out what's really going on

why do i feel empty even though she's perfect on paper?

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