Family won’t stop asking for baby, marriage is suffering

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Question

We’ve been married 2.5 years now and every single visit it’s the same thing — mummy asks when we are having kids, even in front of guests. My husband is getting annoyed. He is saying why can’t they just wait, but I know they mean well only. Last week during Diwali, my nani came and started crying, saying she might not see a grandchild before she goes. It put so much pressure on both of us. We tried last year but it didn’t happen, so we paused for some time. Now he is feeling like I’m choosing them over him, but that’s not true. He is not understanding my point only. We fought last night because my brother’s wife is pregnant and everyone is celebrating like it’s their own win. He said maybe we should check our kundli if there’s some dosh or something. I don’t want to fight over astrology, but I also can’t ignore family completely, isn’t it? How do I make him feel supported without hurting my parents’ feelings?

Jamal Davis · Answer

My aunt used to do the exact same thing at every family dinner — like clockwork, five minutes after we sat down, “When are you two giving us a baby?” It sucked. What finally worked for us was my husband & I sitting down together and deciding on a clear message we were both okay with. We didnt tell the whole family a big story or anything, but next time she brought it up, I just said, “We’re trying when we’re ready, and we’ll share when there’s something to share,” & changed the topic fast. Feels weird at first but gets easier. Also? Blocked my mom on my phone for a week after she texted me 3 times in one day about it. She got the hint. You & your husband need to be on the same team — maybe set aside time to really talk when you’re both calm, no stress around. My mom meant well too, but well-meaning people can still push too hard. Protect your peace.

Family won’t stop asking for baby, marriage is suffering

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