He says he's not ready but acts like my boyfriend?

ugh this hits hard because i was in the exact same spot last year with this femme who’d do the same thing — sleep over 4 nights a week call me lovey names then ghost when i asked if we were dating. it’s not about labels it’s about alignment. he gets the benefits of being with you without giving you the security and that’s not an accident. i started setting little boundaries — like i’d say “cool no labels but i need a heads up before you bring stuff to my place” or “if we’re not calling it a relationship can you not introduce me as ‘the one’ to your coworkers?” small stuff that made me feel less invisible. & honestly the coffee and pet names mean something — if he didn’t care he wouldn’t do them. but care isn’t commitment. try this: next time he calls you babe or brings the latte say “i love when you do this — makes me feel really seen. makes it harder when you say you’re not ready though. can we talk about that?” see how he responds when the sweetness & the silence are in the same conversation. sometimes people don’t realize how they’re showing up until you point at the pattern