How do I stop overthinking every word I say?

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Question

So I’ve been with my partner for about two years now, and lately I feel like I can’t say anything without running it through this mental filter first. Like, I’ll start to say something simple—how my day was or even a joke—and suddenly I’m stuck wondering if it’ll upset them, if it’ll lead to a quiet night or a lecture about how I ‘don’t listen.’ We’re both men, been through a lot together, but since I got out the military, my head’s been messed up. I don’t wanna walk on eggshells in my own relationship, ya know? Tbh, sometimes I miss just being able to be me. My dad always said a real man holds it together for his family, but this ain’t holding it together—this is just bottling. And I don’t even know when it started, but now it’s like I’m scared to talk. ngl, I feel weak as hell saying that, but I’m tired. How the hell do you learn to speak free in a relationship that feels this tight?

Pavel Nikitin · Answer

I was in similar situation, my girlfriend she is good woman, but I always think about what I say, afraid to make her upset. This situation have no solution, but what help me is just talk to her about it, tell her how I feel. I say to her, look, I feel like I'm walking on eggshells, I don't want to be like this. And she listen, she understand, we work through it together. Now I try to just be myself, not think too much about what I say, and it's better. I still think about it sometimes, but I know she love me, and I love her, so we get through it 💪

How do I stop overthinking every word I say?

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