She said she loves me but not ready for a relationship?

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Question

Ay dios mio, I’m so confused right now. We’ve been seeing each other for almost six months — quiet dinners, weekends at her place, even met her mamá at a café. She says she loves me, gets all soft when we talk about the future, but then says she’s 'not ready for a relationship.' What does that even mean? If you love someone, isn’t that the whole point?

I’m from Mendoza, moved to BA for work, and back home people don’t say 'te amo' lightly. It’s a matter of respect. Here in the city, feels like words get thrown around like confetti.

She’s got this thing where she pulls me close, then ghosts for days. Says she’s 'working on herself' — ok, cool, but where do I fit? I’m not asking to move in tomorrow, just some clarity. If she’s not ready, fine, I can walk. But don’t tell me you love me and then act like we’re just hanging out.

My friends say she’s playing me. I don’t want to believe that. But I also can’t keep waiting in this limbo.

Karthigan Balaji · Answer

So I went through something almost identical last year, and honestly? It broke my head too. She’d say "te amo" like it was nothing, plan trips, meet my hermanos — but every time I brought up being official, she’d shut down. Like, 'not ready' again.

Tbh, I stayed too long hoping she’d change. What I learned? Words are easy. Commitment takes action. If she keeps saying she loves you but won’t be your girlfriend, ask her: 'What does “ready” look like for you? When will that happen?' Get specifics. Not next month, not someday — a real answer.

Ngl, she might not have one. And that tells you everything.

Back home in Salta, my abuela always said: 'El amor sin actos es ruido.' Love without action is just noise. I left that situation in May and by July, I met someone who said 'sí' to building something real.

Don’t wait for crumbs. You deserve the whole meal. And if she won’t define what this is, maybe it’s already definately over — she just hasn’t said it yet.

She said she loves me but not ready for a relationship?

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