how do i stop feeling broken after rejections?

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Question

i’ve been trying to date for a while now, mostly on apps, and it feels like every time i actually like someone, it goes nowhere. last month i matched with this guy who seemed really into me at first—we were texting all day, even sent voice notes, super sweet. then outta nowhere he just ghosted after our second date. it’s not even the first time. my mom even brought up kundli matching last week like, “maybe the stars just don’t want you to be happy,” which honestly made me feel worse. i keep wondering if there’s something wrong with me. i’m gay, not super out to everyone, and sometimes i think i come off too nervous or eager, like i’m trying too hard. but isn’t wanting to be loved kinda normal? i deleted the apps for a bit but now i just sit around feeling invisible. how do ya even start feeling worthy when it feels like no one wants to keep you around? idk. maybe im just tired

Nadia Petrova · Answer

So I used to beat myself up the exact same way — every ghosting felt like a personal failiure, like I was just unlovable or somethin. Then it hit me: it’s not about me. Like that guy who ghosted after two dates? Turns out he was juggling three people at once. Found out by accident when a friend mentioned matching with him. Wild, right?

I started keeping a little rejection journal — not to spiral, but to write one line about what actually happened. Got ghosted? "He wasn’t ready." Got flaked on? "Not respectful of my time." It helped me see patterns that weren’t about me being broken, but about who *they* were.

Also, I made a rule: no dating apps for more than 20 mins a day. Sounds silly but it saved me. When you’re obsessing over matches, every one feels like a lifeline. Step back, and you remember your worth isn’t tied to who replies.

And kundli or no kundli, thier timing doesn’t run your life. My last breakup led me to meet the person I’m building a real thing with now — all because I didn’t rush into the next shiny match.

You’re not broken. You’re just still in it. Breathe. It gets lighter.

how do i stop feeling broken after rejections?

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