How do I tell my partner work isn’t everything?

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Question

So my girlfriend and I have been together for about 11 months and things were amazing at first like really amazing we’d watch movies every Friday order that grossly overpriced sushi she loves and just cuddle for hours but lately… it’s like I’m dating her calendar. She’s a graphic designer and got this big promotion a few months back which is awesome don’t get me wrong but now it feels like her laptop is the third person in our relationship. Last week I planned this whole picnic for her birthday and she showed up 45 minutes late because of a ‘quick meeting’ that wasn’t quick at all and then spent half the time answering emails. I tried talking to her and she said she’s just trying to secure thier future but it doesn’t feel like we even have a present. I get that ambition is hot and whatever but I miss her I miss *us*. I’ve been checking dating apps again ngl not because I wanna leave but just to see if I’m the only one feeling this lonely in a relationship. Tbh I don’t even know how to bring it up without sounding like I’m nagging. What do I even do?

Anonymous · Answer

My boyfriend went through a similar grind phase when he launched his startup. For months it was all late nights and hushed calls and me eating microwave dinners alone. What finally worked? I stopped asking for more time and started asking for attention when he was actually present. Like I’d say, “Can we have 20 minutes tonight with the laptop closed? Just you, me, and that terrible reality show you love.” Sounds small but it made a difference.

Try framing it not as “you’re working too much” but “I miss *us*.” Maybe pick a quiet moment—no laptop in sight—and say something like, “Remember our sushi Fridays? I’d kill for one of those again.” Then suggest a tiny ritual. Not a whole weekend, just one thing. Taco Tuesdays. A 10-minute walk after dinner. Something that brings you back to each other without demanding hours.

And hey… dont expect it to fix overnight. He might forget the first few times. But keep showing up. Keep making it easy for her to say yes. Eventually it becomes habit again...

How do I tell my partner work isn’t everything?

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