How do you know if it's love or codependency?

i went through the exact same thing with my ex. the coffee, the promises, the spinning in circles — felt like i was losing my mind. i thought it was love too, but looking back, it was more like i couldn’t breathe without him. that constant calling, the panic when he didn’t reply? that’s not love, that’s attachment wired to survival. i finally asked myself: do i feel safer, stronger, more like myself when he’s gone? and the answer was yes. one thing that helped me was setting a no-contact rule for 10 days. just 10. deleted his number, blocked him on everything. first 3 days were hell — cried, drove past his place, the whole mess. but by day 7, i started sleeping. by day 10, i realized i hadn’t thought about him for hours. try it. not forever, just a break. see what your emotions look like without the constant feedback loop. also — write down what actually changed after each promise. not what he said, what *happened*. keep the list somewhere safe. when you’re tempted to let him back, read it. truth cuts cleaner than feelings sometimes