How do you move on from your person?

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Question

Okay so I just ended a 7-year relationship and im not even sure how to breathe without this person honestly. we were together since college planned everything got matching tattoos talked about buying a house one day and then outta nowhere they said they were feeling trapped. like what even is my life now? I keep checking their instagram (i know i should stop) and every song reminds me of them. we even went to a pandit together because i'm Manglik and they wanted to make sure it wasn't an issue for our future. we did therapy couples therapy individual therapy everything and still it wasn't enough. i thought we were gonna be old together and now i see them out with friends looking fine and laughing and i cant get out of bed before noon. i try to text them sometimes i dont send it but i write it. how do people actually heal from someone who was basically your whole world i feel like a ghost in my own life. someone said go no contact but how when we have mutuals and work in the same city. my mom says time heals but right now time just feels heavy. i want to believe it gets better but today it really really doesnt

Mia Anderson · Answer

I saw my ex’s new haircut on Instagram last winter & honestly, it wrecked me. We were together 6 years, talked marriage, even picked out a dog together. When it ended, I felt like I’d been erased. What helped? First, I deleted Instagram for a week—just cold turkey. It sucked at first, but I started sleeping again. I also canceled one shared routine: we used to get coffee every Sunday at that overpriced place near campus. I went a different day & got tea instead. Small thing, but it felt like I was taking back a piece of my week. Oh & I burned a playlist. Like, actually deleted it while yelling “NOT TODAY SATAN.” Haha. It sounds dumb, but it made me feel strong. You don’t have to figure it all out now. Just pick one thing—stop checking their page, skip one song, sleep on the other side of the bed. Do that thing. Then do it again. You’ll start breathing again. It just takes weird little rebellions against the sadness.

How do you move on from your person?

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