Is attachment the same as love?

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Question

I waited already 3 years for my wife to feel different, but nothing changed. We got married through family arrangement, my father-in-law made the decision fast, said she was good girl, obedient, from same village. And she is — polite, never loud, cooks every day. But when I talk about feelings, dreams, even small things about us, she looks away. I cannot say directly but... sometimes I cry in bathroom, quiet, because I feel alone. She doesn’t hug me, not even hand hold. Says it’s not our way. But her brothers hug their wives. I told her already I need something more, and she says, 'You have me, what else?' But I don’t know — is this love? Or am I just used to her? I respect her, our family, but I miss something real. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but I’m hurting slow. Maybe I’m wrong for wanting more?

Sophia Martinez · Answer

Been in a similar spot myself, feeling so alone in a relationship. my wife was like yours, polite and all but never really connected on a deeper level. I tried talking to her about it, but she just shrugged it off. what worked for me was doing small things, like holding her hand when we're walking, even if she doesn't initiate it. sometimes she'd pull away, but other times she'd let me hold it for a bit.  slowly she started doing it back, not often but it was a start. you could try that, just small gestures, see how she reacts. and honestly, crying in the bathroom isn't gonna help, you gotta talk to her about how you feel, even if it's hard. 
lowercase feels more natural for this part... she needs to know you're hurting, that you feel alone. give her a chance to understand, to connect with you on a real level. still not sure if it'll work for you, but it's worth a shot, right

Is attachment the same as love?

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