My parents disapprove of my interracial relationship — should I choose love or family?

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Question

I am in a wonderful relationship with someone of a different race. My parents are not overtly racist but have made it clear they want me to marry "within our culture." They have never met my partner and refuse to. My partner is hurt. I am torn between honoring my family and building a life with someone I genuinely love. Does anyone have experience navigating this?

Frank Chen · Accepted Answer

I am in an interracial marriage and went through this. Some things I learned: you do not have to "choose" permanently in most cases. Your parents may come around with time, especially after they actually meet your partner. But they will never get the chance if you give in to their resistance. Set the boundary: "I love you AND I love this person. Both are non-negotiable." In my case, my parents came around about 2 years after our marriage when they saw how happy I was.

Iris Patel · Answer

What helped in my situation was introducing my partner to one family member first — the one who was most open-minded. That person became an ally and helped bridge the gap with the rest of the family. Change in families often happens one person at a time, not all at once.

My parents disapprove of my interracial relationship — should I choose love or family?

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