Should I marry someone I do not love but my family approves of?

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Question

I am 28F from a South Asian family. My parents have found someone they think is perfect for me — good job, good family, respectful. On paper he checks every box. But I feel nothing when I am with him. No excitement, no spark, no desire to know him more deeply. My family says love grows after marriage. My friends say I should wait for real feelings. I am torn and running out of time as the families want an answer soon.

Grace Kim · Accepted Answer

This is such a deeply personal decision and there is no universally right answer. Love can grow in arranged marriages — plenty of evidence for that across cultures. But "feeling nothing" is different from "not being head-over-heels yet." If you feel genuine discomfort, repulsion, or dread — that is your gut telling you something. If it is just an absence of butterflies, that might change with more time together. Can you ask for a longer getting-to-know-each-other period?

Anonymous · Answer

As someone who went through a very similar situation 5 years ago — I said yes to make my family happy. We are now separated. I do not blame anyone, but I wished I had been honest with myself earlier. The resentment that builds when you feel trapped is corrosive. Whatever you decide, make sure it is YOUR decision, not your family or anyone else including people on the internet.

Should I marry someone I do not love but my family approves of?

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