Should I leave if he gives all his money to his parents?

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Question

So we’ve been married 3 years and things were okay at first but now I’m just exhausted. My husband makes decent money, like solid middle class, but he sends every paycheck straight to his parents. Like, all of it. I asked him last month for even $200 toward groceries and he said they needed a new roof. His parents dont even live with us — they have their own house, and honestly, they’re not poor. I’m stuck using my tiny salary to pay for everything — rent, bills, toilet paper, you name it. Last week I had to borrow from my sister just to fill the car with gas.

I brought it up and he got so quiet, then said "family comes first." Like yeah, but what about us? I feel like Im married to a ghost. We never go out, I cant buy new clothes, I had to cancel my therapy sessions cause there was no money. And when I try to talk about it he shuts down or says Im being selfish. I dont want to be the bad guy but Im so tired of feeling broke and alone. Is this normal? Should I just accept this or am I allowed to want a life too?

#GenderIdentity #update

Anonymous · Answer

My cousin was in the same spot — her husband sent checks to his parents every month like clockwork while she scrambled to cover rent. She finally sat him down and said look, I get family matters but we’re drowning. You need to have that talk — not a fight, just a real talk — where you lay out the numbers. Show him the math. Rent, bills, groceries, the $5 he doesn’t even notice missing. Make it about survival, not guilt. I started tracking every dollar I spent just to prove I wasn’t blowing cash — helped when I showed him the spreadsheet. You’re not asking for permission to live, you’re asking to not be buried. If he still won’t budge after that… then yeah, you gotta decide what kind of life you’re signing up for. Because right now you’re not a partner — you’re a roommate paying his way.

Should I leave if he gives all his money to his parents?

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