Stuck in a situationship for 2 years — how do I get out?

Q: Can a friends-with-benefits situation ever turn into a real relationship?

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Q: Why do people say "I am not looking for anything serious" and then act like they are?

This question has 2 answers from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/why-do-people-say-i-am-not-looking-for-anything-serious-and-then-act-like-they-are

Q: Why won’t he call me his girlfriend in public?

This question has 1 answer from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/why-wont-he-call-me-his-girlfriend-in-public-7gtuds

Q: Married for love... was I wrong?

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Q: is she looking for love or just inspiration?

This question has 1 answer from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/is-she-looking-for-love-or-just-inspiration-r1yq7e

Question

We act like a couple — go on dates, sleep together, talk every day, know each other families. But when I bring up labels, he says he "does not like labels" and "is not ready for a relationship." Yet he wants all the benefits of one. I keep thinking he will change, but 2 years in and nothing has changed. How do I walk away from something that feels like a relationship but is not?

Alice Johnson · Accepted Answer

When someone says "I do not want a relationship" — believe them. Not the version of them you hope they will become. Not the mixed signals. The words. After 2 years, he is not "not ready" — he is getting everything he wants without committing. The label is not about a word; it is about accountability and mutual investment.

Walking away starts with accepting a hard truth: the hope is keeping you stuck. As long as you hope he will change, you will tolerate this indefinitely. Set a boundary for yourself (not an ultimatum for him): "I want a committed relationship. If this is not that, I need to honor what I want."

Bob Williams · Answer

Think of it this way: he has had 2 years to decide. The decision has been made — you are just not accepting the answer because it was not spoken directly. Your next step is not convincing him. It is choosing yourself. It hurts like a breakup because it IS one.

Stuck in a situationship for 2 years — how do I get out?

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