What do I do when my boyfriend breaks stuff when mad?

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Question

So last night we were arguing about weekend plans and I said I wanted to hang with my friends instead of staying in and he just snapped he threw his phone on the floor and it shattered the screen and then kicked the trash can over like full rage and I just froze I didn’t know what to do I’ve seen him get upset before but this is the third time he’s broken something and last week it was a lamp and before that his headphones and he always says sorry after and buys me flowers or takes me out but it’s scaring me a little idk lol I mean I get that everyone loses their temper sometimes but this feels different I stayed over after and we cuddled and it was fine but this morning I’m just like… is this normal? should I even be worried? I don’t want to be with someone who can’t handle stress without trashing the apartment but I also care about him and he says he’s working on it but clearly not really because it keeps happening and every time I wonder if it’ll be something worse next time like what if he breaks a window or hurts someone or me?? I don’t even know who to talk to about this cause my friends would say leave but I’m not ready for that

Clara Fischer · Answer

my ex used to do the same thing — throw his keys, punch walls, once he even broke a window with his fist and then acted like it was no big deal the next day over breakfast. i kept making excuses for him too like oh he’s just stressed or he always apologizes and brings gifts but here’s the thing: the apologies don’t mean s*** if the behavior keeps happening. it’s not about the stuff getting broken it’s about the fear you feel when he snaps… that freeze you mentioned? that’s your body telling you something’s wrong. i stayed way too long because i thought i could calm him down or that love should be enough but it just got worse. please talk to someone you trust — a friend, a counselor, anyone — and start writing down what happens with dates and details. not because you need proof for him but because it helps you see the pattern clearly. i know it’s hard but you deserve to feel safe, always. love shouldn’t come with shattered screens and walking on eggshells

What do I do when my boyfriend breaks stuff when mad?

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