Why do they keep sending mixed signals?

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Question

okay so i’ve been talking to this guy for like three weeks now. we met at a friend’s BBQ and hit it off right away. we text all day, sometimes late into the night. he calls me cute and says he’s looking forward to our next date, which felt really promising. we had our second date last friday—coffee and a walk in the park—and it was so easy, like we’ve known each other for ages. he held my hand and everything.

then outta nowhere, he went quiet. like, one day he’s calling me his favorite person and the next, he’s replying 20 hours later with one word answers.  i asked if everything was okay and he said “yeah just swamped with work” but we were supposed to hang this weekend and he canceled last minute with zero effort to reschedule.

but get this—at the same time, he liked two of my old instagram photos from like a year ago. why would you do that if you’re losing interest?? it’s driving me nuts. one minute i think he’s into me, the next i’m convinced i’m being strung along.

some of my friends say it’s a red flag but i keep noticing green-flags too—the way he listens, remembers small details, makes me laugh. so what the hell do i do? keep giving chances or walk away before i catch feelings?

Ethan Brooks · Answer

ugh this one stings because i’ve been there — last year i was talking to this guy who sent me sunshine and rainbows for two weeks then ghosted for four days. i was overthinking like crazy. here’s what changed for me: i stopped chasing the silence. when he finally texted again i didn’t jump to reply right away. gave it a few hours. and when i did respond i kept it light but not overly eager.   hey guess what i finally tried that matcha place you mentioned. let me know if you’re free this week.

it’s crazy how much clarity comes when you stop filling the space with your own noise. he either matches your energy or he doesn’t. and if he doesn’t? that’s the answer. you don’t need him to spell it out.

also — hand-holding on date two? that’s not nothing. trust your gut when it says this felt real. because it probably is for him too he’s just tangled up in his own stuff. but you still get to decide how long you wait in the fog.

sometimes silence isn’t rejection. sometimes it’s just fear with bad timing

Why do they keep sending mixed signals?

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