Why do we fake being happy all the time?

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Question

Arav and I have been together for 3 years now. In public we’re all smiles perfect couple energy you know? Holding hands at mamak stalls his family invites us everywhere we seem like the golden pair. But the second we get home it’s like we both collapse. Like we’re drained. We barely talk just scroll phones eat in silence sometimes argue over small things like who didn’t close the rice container 😤 I cannot say directly but… I don’t feel close to him anymore. It’s like we’re actors and the show ends at the front door. He says he’s tired from work but so am I. And my parents still don’t know about us they think I’m meeting Tamil boys for *thaali* visits. Every time they mention marriage I feel sick. I love him but this double life is killing me. We never talk about real stuff. Not about what we want not about the silence not about anything. Is this just how relationships are after a while or are we just… broken? 🤦

Heather Scott · Answer

I've been in a similar situation before and honestly it's exhausting pretending to be this perfect couple all the time. My partner and I used to do the same thing - put on a show in public then go home and barely talk to each other. What helped us was scheduling regular date nights just the two of us no distractions and actually talking about what's bothering us. We made a rule to not use our phones during dinner and it's weird how much of a difference it made. You should try something like that with Arav see if it helps you guys reconnect

Why do we fake being happy all the time?

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