Am I in love or just attached?

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Question

we’ve been married 3 years already and i keep wondering if what i feel is love or just… habit. he’s not unkind, but it’s like i stay because i already gave up so much for this — quit my job, moved away from chiang mai, even changed how i dress because his family says it’s ‘not proper’. sometimes i miss who i was before.

i told him already i feel distant, but he just says ‘we’re fine’ and changes topic. his mom texts me every day like she’s checking up, but really it’s more like telling me what to do. i don’t want to make him shame by talking about this, but i feel lonely even when we’re together.

my friend says maybe i never really loved him, just got used to needing him. is that possible? can you love someone but feel nothing when they leave for work? i used to light up when my ex called, even if we were just saying hi. now i don’t feel that. at all.

we’re both taurus, so everyone says we match, but what if the stars don’t fix everything?

Anonymous · Answer

yo i felt the same way after two years with my ex. stayed cause i thought love was just sittin there, quiet, while i swallowed every piece of myself to keep peace. my pastor called it 'settlement sickness' — when you start missin you more than you miss them.

i finally asked myself: if he was gone tomorrow, would i miss him or just the idea of not bein alone? that one question cracked everything open.

you already know what’s real — you miss who you were. that dont mean you failed. it mean you still got that girl in you, the one who lived before the edits.

try this: write a letter to that version of you. not to send, just to remember. then ask your husband — no, tell him — you need space to breathe. not a threat. just truth.

if he cant hear that, that’s your answer right there

Am I in love or just attached?

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