Can we survive?

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Question

I've been with my fiancé for 5 years now, we got engaged a year ago & were planning our wedding when the war broke out in our country, we had to flee to different countries for safety, I'm in the UK now & he's in Canada, it's been really tough on us, we try to make it work with video calls & messages but it feels like our relationship only exists on a screen, we barely have time to talk about anything meaningful anymore, we're just trying to survive on our own, I feel so lost without him, I miss the little things we used to do together, like going for walks or cooking dinner, now it's just me alone in a small apartment, I'm trying to stay positive but it's hard when I feel like I'm losing him, we were supposed to get married this summer but now I don't even know if that's gonna happen, I just wish we could be together again, I wish we could go back to how things were before the war, I guess what I'm asking is can our relationship really survive this distance & uncertainty

Grace Mwangi · Answer

Two years ago I was in the exact same boat my partner and I got separated when things went sideways back home we ended up in different countries and for a while it felt like we were just roommates who texted a lot like how do you keep love alive over pixelated video calls when you’re both exhausted from rebuilding your lives from scratch what saved us was setting a tiny ritual — every Sunday morning I’d make her favorite tea here and she’d do the same with coffee there even though it was just an hour on screen it was ours we’d share one real thing that week — not just bills or visa updates but like I had a panic attack and here’s why or I saw a bird that looked like the one we used to feed in the park it felt stupid at first but it brought us back to being humans not just survival machines also we wrote letters actual letters they’re cheesy but it’s different than texts you slow down you say more try that and if some days it feels pointless that’s normal too you’re not lost you’re just living hard right now and still choosing each other

Can we survive?

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