Could our money fights be pushing him to cheat?

Q: I emotionally cheated and I cannot forgive myself

This question has 2 answers from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/i-emotionally-cheated-and-i-cannot-forgive-myself

Q: I found out my partner has a dating profile — we have been together for a year

This question has 2 answers from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/i-found-out-my-partner-has-a-dating-profile-we-have-been-together-for-a-year

Q: How do you rebuild trust after your partner cheated?

This question has 2 answers from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/how-do-you-rebuild-trust-after-your-partner-cheated

Q: Can a relationship survive infidelity if both partners want it to?

This question has 1 answer from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/can-a-relationship-survive-infidelity-if-both-partners-want-it-to

Q: He promised to come back after 2 years… it's been 5

This question has 1 answer from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/he-promised-to-come-back-after-2-years-its-been-5-t2m6tz

Question

weve been together 6 years and lately it’s like we cant go a week without screaming about money. i make more than he does — not crazy more, but enough that he gets weird about it. last month i paid the rent alone and he didn’t even say thanks, just mumbled something about “owing him” later.

then i found this hotel receipt on his phone — no name, just a charge. when i asked he said it was for a work thing but he’s never mentioned overnight trips and his boss was in the office that week. i don’t know if he’s actually cheating or i’m just paranoid but — every time we fight about money, he pulls away. like emotionally checks out.

a friend said sometimes people cheat to feel powerful when they feel small at home and — maybe that’s stupid but it twisted something in me. we used to be so close, now it’s like every hug feels forced. i read something about love languages and i think he feels loved through touch but i’ve been so stressed i barely let him near me.

also — he’s manglik and his mom always said he’d have marriage problems unless he married someone with the same thing. i didn’t believe it but now im wondering if i’m just not enough for him — or if im making him feel like nothing with all this money stress

Viktor Petrov · Answer

i been there. fought with my ex for months about money until i realized it wasn’t really about the money at all

that hotel charge? yeah that’s a red flag. but the yelling, the tension, the weirdness around who pays what — that’s the soil where cheating grows. my ex started pulling away when we had the same exact fight every weekend about bills. he felt like a failure, i felt like i was carrying everything. then he hooked up with someone at work said it just happened but really it had been brewing for months

don’t fix the money first. fix the conversation  
sit down when you’re both calm and actually talk — not argue — about what money means to each of you. and ask him straight up: was that hotel for work or something else? you deserve honesty

and hey — paying more doesn’t make you the boss. but silence makes everything worse.

trust your gut

Could our money fights be pushing him to cheat?

Key Takeaways

1 Answer

People Also Ask

Share your experience