How do you rebuild trust after your partner cheated?

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Question

My boyfriend of 4 years cheated on me 3 months ago. He came clean about it, cut off all contact with the other person, and has been doing everything to make it right. I chose to stay, but I cannot stop checking his phone, questioning where he goes, and feeling anxious constantly. People say time heals, but when does it actually get better? Those who have been through this — did it ever go back to normal?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

One thing that really helped us was full transparency from his side — not because I demanded it, but because he offered it willingly. Open phone, shared location, detailed communication about plans. Over time, I stopped needing to check because trust was being rebuilt through consistent actions. But it only works if the cheater does the heavy lifting. It is not your job to manage their accountability.

Alice Johnson · Answer

Honest answer: it never goes back to "normal" because the old relationship is gone. But you can build something new — and sometimes even stronger. It took me about 18 months to stop constantly checking and questioning. Therapy helped enormously. The hyper-vigilance you are feeling is a trauma response, and it is completely valid. Do not let anyone rush your healing.

How do you rebuild trust after your partner cheated?

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