Do I stay or do I go?

Q: How do I stop being jealous of my partner friends of the opposite gender?

This question has 1 answer from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/how-do-i-stop-being-jealous-of-my-partner-friends-of-the-opposite-gender

Q: I have trust issues because of my parents relationship — how do I stop projecting?

This question has 2 answers from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/i-have-trust-issues-because-of-my-parents-relationship-how-do-i-stop-projecting

Q: My girlfriend hides her phone from me — should I be worried?

This question has 2 answers from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/my-girlfriend-hides-her-phone-from-me-should-i-be-worried

Q: My partner snooped through my journal and I feel violated

This question has 2 answers from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/my-partner-snooped-through-my-journal-and-i-feel-violated

Q: He never says 'I love you' — is that normal?

This question has 1 answer from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/he-never-says-i-love-you-is-that-normal-d6tc4v

Question

We’ve been together 8 years, married for 3. My abuela always says, 'Lucia, a husband is for life, no matter what.' And I know she means well... but sometimes I wonder if she’s wrong. I love him, I really do. He’s kind, he treats me well, he’s good with my parents. But when we talk... or when we’re quiet... there’s this distance. I can’t explain it. I’ve tried to open up more, like he asks — to say 'I miss you' or 'I need you' — but it feels forced. My family never said those things. My mother still hasn’t told my father she loves him, not once. So when he says 'You’re so cold,' I don’t know how to answer. Last week he said, 'I feel like you’re already gone.' And I didn’t say anything. I just looked away. ... Sometimes I think I’m staying because of what people will say. Mi tía already whispers I’m 'too serious' for him. Like it’s my fault he’s unhappy. But I can’t pretend to be someone I’m not. What if love isn’t enough? What if I’m not broken... but we just don’t fit?

Anonymous · Answer

I was in a similar spot with my ex, we were together for 10 years and I thought thats just how it was supposed to be. But honestly, the distance you're feeling, its real and dont ignore it. I tried to force it too, saying things I didnt mean just to fill the silence, but it only made things worse. What worked for me was having a real talk with my partner, no holding back, and seeing if we could reconnect. If you havent already, try that... and see how it goes. If it doesnt work, you gotta think about whats best for you, even if thats leaving

Do I stay or do I go?

Key Takeaways

1 Answer

People Also Ask

Share your experience