My partner snooped through my journal and I feel violated

Q: How do I stop being jealous of my partner friends of the opposite gender?

This question has 1 answer from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/how-do-i-stop-being-jealous-of-my-partner-friends-of-the-opposite-gender

Q: I have trust issues because of my parents relationship — how do I stop projecting?

This question has 2 answers from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/i-have-trust-issues-because-of-my-parents-relationship-how-do-i-stop-projecting

Q: My girlfriend hides her phone from me — should I be worried?

This question has 2 answers from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/my-girlfriend-hides-her-phone-from-me-should-i-be-worried

Q: He never says 'I love you' — is that normal?

This question has 1 answer from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/he-never-says-i-love-you-is-that-normal-d6tc4v

Q: How do I stop my parents' divorce from ruining my relationship?

This question has 1 answer from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/how-do-i-stop-my-parents-divorce-from-ruining-my-relationship-4s97fc

Question

I keep a private journal where I process my thoughts and feelings. My boyfriend admitted that he read it while I was at work because he "had a bad feeling" and wanted to know if I was being unfaithful. I have never cheated or given him reason to doubt me. He found nothing concerning in the journal, but I feel deeply violated. He says I should not be upset if I have nothing to hide. Am I wrong to feel this way?

Bob Williams · Accepted Answer

You are absolutely NOT wrong. "If you have nothing to hide, you should not care" is a manipulation tactic. Everyone deserves privacy, even in a relationship. Your journal is your safe space for processing thoughts — including messy, unfiltered thoughts that are not meant for anyone else. Him reading it is a breach of trust, and him deflecting blame onto you for being upset is a second breach. He owes you a real apology.

Frank Chen · Answer

His insecurity drove him to violate your boundary. That is understandable (everyone has insecurities) but not acceptable. The way forward is: he addresses his trust issues (possibly in therapy) AND you set a clear boundary around your private space. If he cannot respect that, the trust goes both ways — you cannot trust someone who does not respect your boundaries.

My partner snooped through my journal and I feel violated

Key Takeaways

2 Answers

People Also Ask

Share your experience