He blames me for stuff I didn’t do?

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Question

Lately my boyfriend keeps accusing me of things I never even did. Like last week he said I ignored his calls for hours but I was at work can or not? When I try to explain he says I’m being too sensitive and overreacting. Another time he got mad because I didn’t reply to his text fast enough said I was "losing interest". I told him I was helping my mum with her meds and he just looked at me like I was making excuses. It’s not just once or twice it’s happening more and more. When I ask what’s wrong he shuts down or turns it around on me like it’s my fault for not "feeling" what he’s feeling. I’m tired of walking on eggshells every time he’s in a bad mood. I’m starting to think maybe I really am too sensitive but it doesn’t feel right lah. Like why is it always me backing down? Do I just accept this or is this actually not okay? I don’t want to lose him but I’m also losing myself meh? 💔

Siddharth Puri · Answer

this hit hard because i was in a relationship like this last year and it slowly ate me alive. he’d get mad over texts i didn’t reply to in 10 minutes and when i explained, he’d say i was “making it a bigger deal than it is” — but it kept happening like a loop. what helped me was writing down the dates and what he accused me of, just in a notes app. after two weeks i had proof it wasn’t me being paranoid. i brought it up calmly, not to fight but to ask “why do you think this keeps happening?” he got defensive at first but i stuck to the facts. we ended up talking to a counselor together and that’s when i realized it wasn’t about the calls or texts — he was dealing with anxiety and dumped it all on me. if you care about him, maybe suggest counseling, but only if you’re not the only one doing the work. you deserve to feel trusted. ❤️

He blames me for stuff I didn’t do?

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