He left for work abroad and now I dont know if I want him back

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Question

My husband took the job in Dubai three years ago. Said it was for us, for our future. Sends money every month, calls when he remembers. At first I waited every day, kept his side of the bed made, saved little things — his favorite spoon, the way he liked the light on in the kitchen.

But people here kept asking, 'When he coming back?' and after a while I stopped having an answer. I started working at the library full time. Got close to my sister again, she lives nearby now. I even — I dont know, I like being alone. Not lonely, just... peace.

He says he’s coming home for good in six months. But when I think about him walking through the door, taking up space again, I feel... nothing? Or worse, I feel crowded.

In our culture, you dont just walk away from marriage. Your family watches, judges. My mom says, 'He provides, you should be grateful.' But I dont miss him. And that makes me feel like a bad person.

What do I do when the life I built has no room for the man I married?

Anonymous · Answer

I went through something similar with my ex, he was in the military and I was left behind for years, I thought I was waiting for him but really I was just stuck in limbo, I started taking classes, got a new job, and honestly it was scary to think about him coming back because I had built this new life without him, my advice to you is to take some time to think about what you want, not what you think you should want, make a list of pros and cons, talk to your sister, and just be honest with yourself, what do you really want...

He left for work abroad and now I dont know if I want him back

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