His 'honesty' feels like a slap
On the one hand, I appreciate that my partner doesn’t sugarcoat things. On the other hand, he’ll say stuff like 'You look tired today' or 'That outfit makes you look wider' and call it 'honesty'. We’re both women, which should be safe space territory, right? Last week I wore this yellow dress I love—put effort in, felt good—and he said, 'You sure? It’s very… bold for your shape.' Just dropped it like a fact. Objectively speaking, he’s not wrong about how German communication works. My family’s the same. But it still stings. It’s not that I want lies, but a little softness? A 'Hey, you’re cute, but maybe try something different if you want'? This makes no sense emotionally. I’m starting to brace every time he opens his mouth. Like I’m being evaluated and found slightly lacking. Is this just how it is with people who pride themselves on bluntness? How do I ask for kindness without sounding weak or 'too emotional'?