How do I deal with rude comments from my father-in-law?

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Question

okay so my partner and i recently came out publicly and started living together openly — which has been amazing honestly. but their dad... yeah. he’s been staying with us for the past two weeks helping with some home repairs and ever since he arrived things have gotten kind of tense

he makes these little remarks about my cooking like “this rice is a little dry isn’t it?” or “back in my day we knew how to season things” — it’s not even that he’s yelling or hostile it’s just... smug? and then yesterday he looked me up and down and said “you should really try that new salad place down the street might help you slim down a bit”

i froze. didn’t know what to say. my partner brushed it off like “oh he’s just old school” but it’s not just one comment it’s constant and it’s starting to mess with my head

i love my partner so much and i want this to work but every time he opens his mouth i feel smaller. how do i tell him to back off without starting a war? or am i overreacting...
i don’t even know

Leo Moretti · Answer

so my mom used to do the same thing - always making these little comments about my cooking or cleaning and it would drive me crazy. what i found helpful was just to acknowledge what they're saying without taking the bait like i'd say 'yeah the rice can be a bit dry sometimes' and then just move on. dont feel like you need to explain or justify yourself. and honestly sometimes i'd even agree with them just to diffuse the situation - like 'yeah i could've done a better job with the seasoning' - it's not about being right or wrong it's just about keeping the peace

How do I deal with rude comments from my father-in-law?

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