How do I fix a marriage with zero intimacy for 3 years?

my husband shut down for two years after his dad passed — not angry, not mean, just gone. i tried everything too: new underwear, being extra sweet, giving space, the whole damn script. what finally cracked it wasn’t another talk at dinner — it was me sitting next to him on the couch, not facing him, and saying “i miss touching you. not even sex. just like… us.” and then i cried. he didn’t fix it that night but he texted me the next morning asking if i wanted to walk to the coffee place after work. start small — not in bed, not during a fight. ask him to brush your hair. hold his hand while you're both on phones. little things that don’t feel like pressure. and seriously — therapy. not just marriage stuff, but individual. he might be stuck in his head and doesn’t know how to crawl out. we went to a counselor who made him realize it wasn’t about performance — it was grief he didn’t name. it’s been slow — like really slow — but now we’re touching again, sleeping facing each other, and had sex last month for the first time in ages. didn’t last long — but we both stayed in bed after and talked. that never happened before