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Family Conflict

How do I fix it when she still looks at me different?

we been married 8 years and I messed up once about a year ago... texted this girl from work late one night, it went too far, I told her next day. She was crushed, I don’t blame her. We prayed on it, went to Pastor, even started counseling. But things ain’t the same. She don’t laugh like she used. When I come home she smiles but it don’t reach her eyes. Last week she pulled away when I tried to kiss her neck. I know I broke something but I’m trying. her family keeps saying “he ain’t worth it” and that don’t help. mine acting like I should’ve kept my mouth shut about it... like confession made it worse. I just want us back. but every time I reach for her she’s not really there. ngl I’m scared we’re just roommates now. what do I do when the person you love is still in the room but gone?

Asked by

Marcus Webb

30 rep

6 days ago

7 views

1 answer

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Key Takeaways

my husband did something similar a few years back.

1 Answer

J
Jason Poh
0 rep
6 days ago
my husband did something similar a few years back. not the same thing but i remember that look in his eyes when he’d try to touch me—like he was scared. took me forever to realize i was punishing him but also punishing myself. one thing that helped us was setting a regular time to talk without distractions. sunday mornings, over coffee, just 20 minutes. no defensiveness, just honest stuff. we called it our safe time. also… i started writing down one good thing he did each week. small stuff. fixed the sink, brought me tea. helped me see him again instead of just the mistake. your wife’s family dont help one bit—stay out of it. but you gotta give her time AND space. ask her directly “what can i do today to make you feel safe” — then shut up and listen. not about fixing it right then. just hearing her. i know it’s hard. we still have off moments. but the laughs? they came back. slowly.

How do I fix it when she still looks at me different?

Asked by

Marcus Webb

30 rep

6 days ago

7 views

1 answer

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Your email is only used for this notification. We won't spam you.

Key Takeaways

my husband did something similar a few years back.

1 Answer

J
Jason Poh
0 rep
6 days ago
my husband did something similar a few years back. not the same thing but i remember that look in his eyes when he’d try to touch me—like he was scared. took me forever to realize i was punishing him but also punishing myself. one thing that helped us was setting a regular time to talk without distractions. sunday mornings, over coffee, just 20 minutes. no defensiveness, just honest stuff. we called it our safe time. also… i started writing down one good thing he did each week. small stuff. fixed the sink, brought me tea. helped me see him again instead of just the mistake. your wife’s family dont help one bit—stay out of it. but you gotta give her time AND space. ask her directly “what can i do today to make you feel safe” — then shut up and listen. not about fixing it right then. just hearing her. i know it’s hard. we still have off moments. but the laughs? they came back. slowly.

How do I fix it when she still looks at me different?

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How do I fix it when she still looks at me different?

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