How do I fix things when I can't even speak up?

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Question

My parents spent everything—savings, sold grandma’s gold, the works—on my wedding. It was like a big fat Malayali dream, you know? Lots of photos, guests from everywhere, even flew uncles from Cochin. And now I’m here in Dubai, married to a man I barely know, and honestly… I don’t feel anything. Not love, not hate. Just stuck.

I can’t tell anyone how I feel because I keep seeing my mom’s face when she said, 'We gave everything for this match, beta. Make it work.' And I get it. They did it out of love. But what about me? I think I might be gay, or maybe I just don’t want this kind of life. But saying that feels like spitting on their sacrifices.

He’s not a bad guy. Just… not mine. And I feel so alone. Like, how do I even start talking about this without breaking them? I can’t sleep. I cry in the bathroom so no one hears. I just want to breathe.

Actually, I don’t even know what I’m asking. Maybe just… how do you choose yourself when everyone else already paid the price?

Lance Whitfield · Answer

i've been in tough spots like this before, not exactly the same but similar, where i felt stuck and didnt know how to speak up, my fiancée actually helped me see that honesty is key, even if it's hard, you gotta be real with yourself and your parents, i know it's tough when they've invested so much, but you can't just go through the motions, you gotta think about what you want, what makes you happy, and then find a way to have that conversation with your parents, it's not gonna be easy but it's better than living a life that's not yours

How do I fix things when I can't even speak up?

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