App match but parents found out it’s not halal

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Question

So I matched with someone on this dating app, just curious you know? We talked for a few weeks, started getting close, even did a video call once — he wore a cap and kept it casual, but still, there was a connection no? Thing is, my cousin somehow saw my phone and told my parents I’m on a ‘regular’ dating app. They lost it. Ma said, 'Yeh toh bijli ki speed se ghairat nikal rahi hai humari!' (Our honour is slipping at lightning speed!) and kept saying who will marry me now if people think I’m ‘loose’ na? See, I wasn’t even looking for anything haram — just wanted to know someone nicely, maybe see if there’s a chance later through proper ways. But now they’re rushing me to meet a guy from some ‘trusted’ matrimonial site, and I can’t even explain how sad I feel. Like my feelings don’t count. And the guy I was talking to? He said he’s queer, and the app was safe for that. I didn’t care — he was kind. But now I’m stuck: family pressure, guilt, and this weird silence from him after I ghosted for a bit to handle things. Did I mess up? Or is everyone else just blind no?

Joy Villaluz · Answer

my sister went through the exact same thing last year — parents found her app and drama exploded like full soap opera mode. what helped was her sitting them down with our aunt who they actually listen to and framing it as 'i’m being careful not just jumping into anything' instead of defending the app itself. changed the energy completely.

i’d say hide the app for now (just delete it off your phone not the account) and talk to your cousin quietly — not to fight but to ask why they snitched maybe they were worried in their own way.

and hey your ma’s freakout? it’s not really about the video call it’s about control and fear of gossip. not your fault. i kept a journal during my own mess like this — just writing down how i felt helped so much because everything inside felt like a storm.

btw don’t block the guy yet if you still like him but go slow and definitely don’t share anything on your phone where someone can see. i had to use a fake Instagram just for talking to my now-boyfriend he’s pakistani too so thier family was strict as hell. we waited 7 months before telling anyone and it was worth it

App match but parents found out it’s not halal

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App match but parents found out it’s not halal

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