How do I fix this trust mess after lying to my wife?

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Question

So I told my wife I was staying late at work last week but I actually went to grab drinks with an old friend who’s back in town after years… she found out because she called the office and my boss answered confused like 'he left hours ago' and now she won’t believe anything I say not even when I tell her I’m just going to the store for milk. It’s been like this for days she keeps asking where I’m going and checks my phone if I don’t answer fast enough and I get it I messed up but it wasn’t even about her it was just… I don’t know I didn’t wanna make it a big deal and now it’s nuclear. I told her the truth after she confronted me and I’ve apologized like three times but she just shuts down every time I bring it up… it’s like she’s waiting for the next lie even if I’m not lying. I love her and I’ve never done this before it was one dumb moment and now it feels like everything’s cracked. We’ve been together 6 years and it’s not like I’m some serial liar this is so out of character for me but try telling her that now she just looks at me like I’m hiding something… how do you come back from that when the person you love doesn’t believe you’re telling the truth even when you are

Fatima Al-Zahra · Answer

I did the same thing last year—said I was at a work dinner but was actually helping my sister move, which sounds dumb now but at the time I didn’t wanna get into the whole thing and boom, my partner found out through her friend who saw me at the U-Haul and it spiraled hard. She started checking my location, wouldn’t believe when I said I was just stepping out for coffee, the whole deal. What finally helped was me stopping all the explaining and just doing what I said I’d do—no excuses, no extra details unless asked. I’d text before I left, say exactly when I’d be back, and when I said I’d be home at 7 I was home at 6:50. Small stuff like that added up. I also left my phone on the counter once when I went to get milk so she could see I wasn’t hiding anything lol. Took a few weeks but the tension started easing. Just show up, be boringly honest, and give her time to see it’s real

How do I fix this trust mess after lying to my wife?

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