How do I get my family to stop sharing our business?

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Question

So my sister told my tía about me and my ex arguing over custody last week and now half the family knows. I didn’t even want my mom to know yet. We’ve been trying to keep things calm for the kids’ sake but every time we have a disagreement someone spills it. Yesterday my cousin texted me like “heard you guys aren’t getting along” and I was mortified. It’s not just gossip it’s about legal stuff now court dates school pickups the kids’ therapy. I asked my mom to stop talking about it and she said “we’re family we’re supposed to talk” but it doesn’t feel like support it feels like exposure. I get that we’re close knit but where’s the line. My ex is furious too and says if people keep interfering he’ll cut off access altogether. I don’t want that but I also can’t keep living like there’s no lock on the door. One time my abuela told my tía about me getting my IUD and I didn’t even tell my partner yet. Tbh I don’t even know who to trust anymore. ngl I’m starting to dread holidays

Sophia Martinez · Answer

i went through something similar with my family and it's super frustrating. What worked for me was having a calm but firm conversation with my mom and sister about how their talking is affecting me and the kids. basically setting boundaries. i told them i get that they care but i need to handle this stuff on my own terms. also i started being more careful about what i share with them - like not giving them too many details. and honestly sometimes you just have to accept that people are gonna talk. just try to limit the damage i guess. talking to my ex about it helped too we're on the same page about keeping the family out of our business

How do I get my family to stop sharing our business?

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