How do I handle loving someone my family hates?

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Question

i’ve been seeing alex for eight months now and honestly it’s the best relationship i’ve ever had we talk about everything laugh over stupid memes cook together they’re kind and calm and actually listen when i speak but here’s the problem my parents would lose their minds if they found out alex is non-binary and my mom already made it clear she’d never accept “that kind of lifestyle” for her daughter (her words not mine) i’m supposed to be getting married next summer to this great guy my parents love and everything’s set the dress the venue all of it but i can’t stop thinking about alex and how wrong it feels to lie to everyone i love my mom talks about the wedding constantly and i just smile and nod while my stomach twists i’ve started avoiding family dinners cause i can’t handle pretending everything’s fine but i also don’t know how to tell them the truth without losing them it’s like i’m living two lives and neither feels real anymore part of me just wants to disappear i don’t even know what i want anymore

i don’t even know what i want anymore

Chloe Bennett · Answer

I've been in a similar spot before - my family wasn't thrilled about my partner's ethnicity and it was a huge stress on our relationship. So, I get why you're torn between your love for Alex and your family's expectations. Like, I had to choose between being honest with my family and potentially losing them, or keeping my relationship a secret and feeling guilty about it. Ngl, it was tough. What worked for me was having an open conversation with my partner about what we were both comfortable with - we decided to wait till we were more stable before dealing with my family's drama. You might want to consider doing the same with Alex, figure out what you're both okay with and take it from there.

How do I handle loving someone my family hates?

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