How do I know if I really like him or just lonely?

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Question

i started seeing someone 3 weeks after breaking up with my ex of 6 years. was hard letting go, even though it ended bad. we were planning marriage, then he said i was too much, too religious, not fun. after he left, i felt useless. my mom kept asking if im okay, sending me those islamic quotes about patience. i couldnt bear seeing her worry.

met this guy on twitter, turned out he lives in kl too. we clicked fast, joking like old times. he makes me laugh, which i havent done in months. but… sometimes when hes close, i freeze. dont know how to act. my wife dont understand any of this. she tried, wears tudung now, learns surahs, but i see it in her eyes – she’s just doing it for me. feels like im dragging her into something she doesnt feel.

now im confused. am i with him because i like him? or just scared to be alone again? scared my family will think im failing. my sister in singapore keeps sending money, asking when im giving them nieces and nephews. cant tell anyone this mess.

Scott Hamilton · Answer

I was in a similar situation after my last breakup and honestly it took me a while to figure out if I was really into the new guy or just filling a void. what helped me was taking a step back and doing things alone - no dating no talking to him for like a week or two. it sounds crazy but trust me it works. I started focusing on myself again joined a book club and started painting. when I finally met up with him again I knew my feelings were genuine because I wasn't desperate for his attention anymore. try doing something you love and see how you feel about him after that

How do I know if I really like him or just lonely?

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