How do I reach her when I need warmth?
We’ve been married eight years. She runs our household like a project manager — bills paid on the 3rd, grocery list updated every Sunday, vacation plans formatted in spreadsheets. I’m not complaining, it’s efficient. But when I had my panic attack last month — just sat on the bathroom floor shaking — she brought me water, said 'hydration helps', and went back to checking emails. I didn’t know whether to cry or laugh. Last week I asked if she ever thinks about us — not schedules, just us — and she said, 'We’re functioning optimally'. That’s the kind of thing she says. My mother would’ve held me. My grandmother would’ve made soup. But she just… optimizes. I love her, but I feel alone when I’m sad. I don’t know how to ask for more without sounding ungrateful. She reads horoscopes sometimes — I saw her checking our synastry chart once. Maybe it’s a Venus thing? I don’t know. Just — how do you touch someone who only lives in their head?