How do I stop feeling guilty about falling for my best friend?

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Question

so my husband and I have been seperated for 8 months now we agreed to take a break after years of drifting apart but we never officially filed for divorce. during that time me and my best friend jesse just started hanging out more and honestly it felt so easy being around him like we’d finish each other’s sentences and laugh at the same dumb stuff. one night after a few drinks we kissed and then it happened again and now i think i’m falling for him hard. the thing is my husband still texts me sometimes says he misses me and wants to work on things and i told him i need space but now i feel so torn. jesse doesn’t know about the texts and i haven’t told him how deep this is getting i’m scared if i tell him he’ll pull away or say i’m not over my marriage. part of me feels like i’ve already moved on but the guilt keeps me up at night like am i just replacing one attachment with another? i never meant to hurt anyone but now i’m stuck crying in my car after jesse dropped me off wondering what the hell i’m doing. i just need to know if this is real or if i’m just lonely and looking for someone to make me feel worth something again

Chloe Bennett · Answer

honestly i’ve been there and it’s messy but not rare. my husband and i took a break too and i ended up catching feelings for someone i thought was just a friend. at first i felt like a terrible person but i realized i wasn’t lying to anyone i was just being honest about what i needed

what helped me was slowing things down with that person and giving myself space to think without guilt. i wrote out what i truly wanted not what i thought i should want. and i forced myself to be real with my husband about how i felt even though it was hard

if you’re not divorced you owe it to everyone including jesse to be clear about where things stand. i started setting boundaries with my friend while i figured my heart out and it felt weird at first but it was the right call

feelings aren’t wrong but they do need honesty behind them. i waited three months before i made any moves and by then i knew what i wanted for real. you got this lol

How do I stop feeling guilty about falling for my best friend?

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