how do we marry when we can't afford it?

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Question

so my partner and i have been together for 3 years we have a 1-year-old and things are actually good between us like really good we make each other laugh we co-parent like a well-oiled machine honestly but our families won’t let it go both sides keep asking when we’re getting married like every holiday it’s “when’s the big day?” and last week my aunt said “it’s not fair to the baby not to have married parents” which… okay first off rude but also we can barely afford daycare let alone a wedding my partner works part-time at a coffee shop and i’m on night shifts at a warehouse we’re saving but it’s slow going and every time we talk about it we end up stressed i don’t want to feel guilty for loving someone and not having money i just wish people would back off but they won’t and now i’m wondering are we supposed to go into debt just to make everyone happy or do we just say screw it and keep living our lives i don’t know if we even want a big wedding but the pressure is making me question everything

Anonymous · Answer

my partner and i eloped during a lunch break we printed the license at a gas station and got tacos after no ring no dress not even matching shoes but we’ve been married six years now and nobody even remembers the date except us

when my mom kept pushing i finally said “we’re not doing a wedding we’re doing a life” and honestly that shut her up

you don’t need a ceremony for your family to see you’re serious just throw a cheap dinner together invite both sides tell them “this is our wedding” light some candles call it a day

we did that two months after our son was born used paper plates and playlist from my phone cost under 200 bucks and you know what our grandma cried said it was the most real thing she’d ever seen

marriage isn’t the event it’s the everyday stuff you’re already doing

pay the daycare not the florist

how do we marry when we can't afford it?

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