Is this love or just a perfect act?

We’ve been together 3 years. He’s 35, I’m 31 — not a big gap, but since he is older, his family expects him to lead, you know? His parents are super conservative, from Daegu. I’m from Jeonju, more relaxed, but I still feel the weight when we visit. We look like the perfect couple. Matching outfits sometimes, polite to each other in public, never argue where people can see. But alone? It’s like we’re roommates who share a bed. We do everything right — anniversaries, dinners, even say ‘I love you’ on schedule — but it feels… rehearsed. Like we’re playing roles for his parents, for our coworkers, for Instagram. I catch us smiling at each other during family events and wonder — is that real or just performance? Aigo… sometimes I think he doesn’t know me at all. But when I bring it up, he says we’re stable, we respect each other, that’s what marriage is. I just… don’t know if I want ‘stable.’ I want fire. I want mess. I want to feel something that isn’t polite.